He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
