Pants 0. Shit 1.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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