yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Your dad touched me again.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
