"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
