I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she told me i tasted like america
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
