shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
