:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
