Pants 0. Shit 1.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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