I must be too annoying 4 u.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
