We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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