The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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