ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
