who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
In America we eat man semen.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
