Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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