and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
