Sry I called you an 8
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
