I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
