There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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