i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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