Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
