We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
