White coat. Heels.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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