I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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