Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
