Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
