Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
