apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
