your parents love me but you hate me
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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