Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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