She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
