so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
