This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
