She's JV to your varsity
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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