I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
