I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
