if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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