scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
