I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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