It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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