OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
