i always forget guys have bellybuttons
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
