then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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