its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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