yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
