mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
