That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The ass gains better be worth it
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