Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
3pm strippers are depressing
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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