your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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