He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
