do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
