smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
