Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
