he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
